I became involved in emergency service work because there is a need for people to help others who are in trouble. Sometimes, there are calls I respond to however, that are difficult to talk about – even with the person you love and trust most in the world.

Please accept that.

There are, at times, experiences I suffer which hurt me very deeply and I might bring my suffering home. Sometimes, my feelings bother me so much that I can’t even talk about them. Maybe it’s because I’m afraid that you won’t fully understand the depth of my feelings. During these times, I’ll become moody or irritable and I may not seem to care about your feelings or problems.

Please accept that.

You love me for who and what I am. I chose to do what I do because it is so important to me and to those I help,

A\nd although it is sometimes very difficult and maybe even dangerous, I love doing what I do and I do it well. In short, I’m proud of what I am and I hope that you are proud of me.

There are times though when I feel that I didn’t do enough. So many people there depend upon me. There are times I get frustrated and angry at my co-workers, myself and the victim of the tragedy. There are times that the horrors I have to deal with become overwhelming. That is when I have to sort things out by myself, or with others who were there with me.

Please accept that.

So, please, if I have a really bad call and just can’t talk, it isn’t because I don’t love and care for you. It is not because I doubt your love and concern for me. I’m just not ready to open up. When this happens, don’t try to understand…just accept the fact that I’m hurting and that I’ talk to you when I can.

I promise.